decision, decisions

Last month I saw my consultant to discuss my recovery and where we go from here.

One of the options available to me was to go on a maintenance program designed to prolong remission and delay relapse of my myeloma.  A no brainer you would think.

But...

One of the drugs that I would have to take can cause blood clotting.  Given that the same drug administered as part of my chemotherapy treatment almost undoubtedly caused a near fatal blood clot on my lung, you can understand that this is no longer a straightforward decision.  I can of course have anti clotting agents administered but I was on those when I had my clot anyway.

My immediate reaction was to refuse the maintenance program.  Then over the last month or so I must have changed my mind at least a dozen times.

I saw my doctor again on Tuesday and had to give him my decision.  I went with my gut instinct and stuck with my original decision - so no maintenance program for me.  

I'm simply not prepared to take the risk.