the future

Yesterday saw the latest in my series of regular check-ups to see if my cancer is still at bay or is revving up for a new assault on my blood and bone marrow.

It’s still at bay.  Which is obviously good.

What was also good was a visit today from one of my oldest friends.  Some people you just click with instantly.  And that was the case with Andrew and me.  We met in work and we just get along.  He is genuinely the most calming person I know.

Andrew retired from work just before I was diagnosed with myeloma.  We spoke today about our respective retirements and, although Andrew’s was voluntary and not enforced like mine, how it has affected us.

One thing Andrew said was that he went into retirement always looking forward.  Always looking for the next best thing in life I guess.  And that got me thinking about my retirement.  I concluded that the enjoyment of looking forward was in effect stolen from me when I got ill.  I could not, and still cannot, make firm plans.  I don’t know what the next few months let alone the next few years hold.  And that just isn’t fair, is it?

As we parted Andrew left me a CD of songs he has recorded.  He was excited about the songs and told me he is hoping to produce some CD’s so he has a legacy of his musical work. 

Looking back while looking forward I guess you could say.