sleep well

It’s funny, (well except that it isn’t) but I know when I’m going to have one of those nights.  A night of feeling restless, filled with pain, fever and general malaise.  I can tell within a few minutes of going to bed.

The pain comes first.  It feels like my fingers and toes are curling up and extra limbs are trying to grow out of my body.  No, really.  It’s absolutely horrible.  And really quite frightening.  Then I start to feel nauseous and very, very hot.  It’s a feeling that means I’m completely unable to relax or remain still at all.  Even extra doses of painkillers don’t help.  I can’t get to sleep (who could?) and resign myself to a night of no rest.

Thankfully these sorts of nights only occur once or twice a week (they used to be every night so trust me, I am thankful) but they render me tired and useless for a day or so after.

So, when someone tells you that cancer is painful, believe me it is.  But not necessarily in the way you may think it might be.  It’s mentally wearing as well as physically tough.  And sometimes very, very hard to deal with.