fall

January 18, 2018

fall

I made a conscious decision that this year I would try to get back to enjoying the things I used to do a little more. To try to put the fact I’m not well and not as mobile as I’d like right to the back of my mind. To go through some pain to make life more enjoyable.

And then….

I made a huge (for me) effort to get somewhere for a photograph recently. It involved a walk of around 100 metres which unfortunately takes me quite a while to do. But I did it, got there and got my pictures – the ones of Worm’s Head and Rhossili Bay from last Monday. I was so chuffed that I’d done it. I really felt like the old me.

But then, on my way back to my car, I fell. Badly. I lost my footing, which in the old days wouldn’t have posed a problem as I’d have adjusted my balance, regained my composure and been fine. Now, though, I can’t do that so over I went, hoping for a soft landing and preferably not on my back. Anyway, I’ve been lucky. I’m a bit bruised and battered but nothing broken.

But my self-confidence has taken a hammering.

All I want to do is be a little more “normal”. To enjoy simple things. But I’ve now had five falls in the last two months or so, and although I’m counting my blessings that I haven’t done any serious harm to myself, I realise I’m going to have to re-evaluate how I go about things. I’ve always enjoyed being alone, particularly when out taking photographs; I love that feeling of isolation. I now know though that I can’t do that anymore and it really saddens me to have to come to that realisation.