I'm starting to struggle

It's been just over 18 months since my myeloma relapsed.

In that time I've really felt no different to normal.  A little bit more worried and emotional at times, but by and large my everyday life has just continued as usual.

Until this past few weeks or so.

I did manage to complete this - 4000 pieces of tiny lego plastic!

I've been feeling increasingly more and more tired, to the point that after making plans to get out somewhere and packing my camera bag, at the last minute I just decide that going to bed as early as 6pm is a more attractive proposition.

As a result things like my writing, image and video making productivity has at times ground to a halt.  

Even the thought of turning the camera on to make a video seems too hard (though you're probably relieved to hear that!).  My photography has largely been confined to my garden, and if you read last Monday's post then you'll know how hard that has been lately.

Then there's the nausea.

That's been a constant in my life for pretty well the last ten years.  But lately it's getting, like my fatigue, worse and worse to the point I dread waking up some mornings as I know I will feel desperately unwell.

I know this sounds like a rant, and it is of sorts, but this blog was founded on openness and honesty about my illness, and I know that some people like to read about how I feel as they may be suffering with something similar themselves.

If my blog posts become more erratic from now on (I hope they don't but you never know) then at least you'll know why!

Edited to add:

I just got the results of my most recent blood tests, and… all are stable.  In fact there's been little movement since my relapse all those months ago.  I just wish someone would tell my body!

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I've put together a montage of the last macro images of the summer, and if you'd care to watch then just click below:

Or there's always this vlog if you'd prefer:

Or even a gear recommendation if you're that way inclined:

Yes I've been forgetting to link videos lately.  I'm not perfect!