free entertainment

NB: this post was written well before the Covid-19 outbreak

It’s not often you get something for nothing these days, but just the other day while waiting for Lisa I had the time of my life.

What kept me so thrilled and entertained you ask?

Clowns?  A juggler?  Someone busking on the street?

No, it was watching a parade (is that the right word?) of people trying to parallel park in the space in front of my car.

Now, I will confess to being a demon parker.  I can parallel park into a space barely longer than my car itself.  You drive past the space, size it up and then reverse in.  Voila.  What could be simpler.

The many who tried to park in front of me though all made the schoolboy* error of trying to drive into the space.  It can’t be done.  Ever.  Your car cannot defy the laws of physics no matter how much backing and foreing you do.

All of them, without exception gave up and drove off.  One though persevered to the extent that after thirty (and no, I’m not exaggerating) attempts at inching forward and backward I had to honk my car’s horn at her as I was sure she was going to hit my Audi.

*Now, I’m not being sexist, but of the six who tried to get into that space I’m afraid to say all were female.  And this sample size is too small to make any sort of accurate statistical finding and there are doubtless many women who can expertly park.  However, when I asked Lisa if she could have parked in that space, she said she wouldn’t even have tried!

This manoeuvre is now part of the UK driving test and has been for many years.  Also, cars are fitted with sensors and cameras and some even park themselves.  None of this applied to the six I saw today.

Obvs.