an old friend called zometa

It’s a lovely view from here, and one that I’m really familiar with.  The sweep of Swansea Bay looking out towards Mumbles Head and the lighthouse there is one I’ve known my whole life.

I don’t really want to gaze upon it today though as, lovely as it is in the brilliant sunshine, I’m sat in the waiting room of the haematology day unit, where in around 20 minutes I’ll begin a course of bone strengthening infusions with a drug called, you guessed it, Zometa - a type of zolendronic acid.

(NB at time of publication I'll have had my second dose)

I’ve been down this road before, back in late 2015 and for around 18 monthly infusions after.

Since my relapse and the return of myeloma, I’ll be relying on this treatment to hopefully go some way to prevent bone fractures which the myeloma could cause.

First time around I suffered a spinal fracture. I didn’t have the benefit of the strengthening regime at that time as although I had a marker for myeloma in my blood there were no signs that it had progressed anywhere near to the stage where it would cause fractures.  That it did is a sign of my luck, I guess!

Hopefully this time around things will be different and the infusions will prevent any such catastrophes.

But as I gaze around the waiting room at the other people here for their treatment, I wonder just what the future holds for me.  

For starters, I really don’t want the chemotherapy treatment they have offered me.  It comes with the risk of exacerbating my cardiac issues as well as increasing the chances of blood clots forming, something I know only too well from first time around when a huge saddle embolus in my right lung was nearly fatal.  

Although the clotting risk is mitigated somewhat by the blood thinning drugs I have, I was taking these back then too, and was also having four daily injections of a drug to prevent clots as well - and I still got a massive one.

And along with the risks I've outlined there is the real and indisputable knowledge that the chemo will make me very unwell.  I feel somewhat OK as it stands and can enjoy trips out with my daughter to explore the local woods and also follow our football team.  

So, it feels a little dull, to me at least, to take something that'll change that.  Moreover chemo treatment would severely compromise my immune system increasing even more the risk of infections, particularly pneumonia - the main killer of myeloma sufferers, and I don’t really want to think about that at all.

Without chemotherapy there’s no doubt my lifespan will be shorter.  How much shorter is unknown, but my haematologist thinks in around 12 months I will become terminally ill.  

But the way I look at is, is like this.  What is the point of just existing; stumbling from one round of treatment to the next, worrying about its effects instead of just living and enjoying life?  For however long or otherwise that may be.

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On a completely different note, want to know how I set up my GoPro for filming cinematic video, along with my initial thoghts on my new GoPro 12?  No?  Thought not, but there's this video anyway so…

I've also published a new resource showing these settings on the home page, or you can access it by clicking here: the cinema is yours