oh for some structure

Shortly after my cancer diagnosis I was told that it would be unlikely I’d be able to work again.  I held a very responsible, very stressful and incredibly demanding job, and being too ill or tired to be able to work I was forced to retire.

And by and large that was the right decision.

I still get sick very frequently, and the fatigue is dreadful.  Had I carried on working I think I’d have been sacked by now.

Don’t get me wrong.  Retirement is just fine.  I can do what I like when I like within financial constraints of course but there is something I miss.  And that’s any sort of structure to my day, week, month or even year.

I'll jsut see if I'm fr.....yes I can do Friday!

Working meant I had a daily routine.  A dull one maybe but a routine nonetheless.  And then there were the weekends to look forward to.  On a bigger scale, there was the family two-week holiday to book, plan and anticipate; counting the days down until the flight and the associated excitement.

But that’s now all gone.  You’d think that living just one long weekend after another would be fun.  And if I were healthy and able to get about and do things then it probably would.  But I’m not and sometimes it just gets boring being “on holiday” all the time.

Friends still in work say to me that it must be great to be retired so early. I tell them to be careful what they wish for.  It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.